i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
