no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
