The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
