So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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