Don't make out with my wife yet
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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