operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
