your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
