Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
