I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize