I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
