I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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