Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
