the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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