She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
