we have pet lesbian snakes
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
