The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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