high people should be assigned attendants
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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