After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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