he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She even gives head with a lisp.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
