No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We were destined to go to rehab together
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
