Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
