he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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