you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
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Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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