I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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