Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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