What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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