I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
