Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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