I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
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