you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
