Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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