I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
