"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize