you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
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She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
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If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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