would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
