oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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