the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
