If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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