I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
