Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
