he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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