My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
