You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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