i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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