all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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