Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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