and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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