he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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