How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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