so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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