I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just want to make out with him forever
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
