My room smells like vodka and shame
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize