ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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