i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
there is glitter all over my balls
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
