My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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