nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
