...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i out mim tonsoeep
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
