we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I supernannyed him into submission
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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