i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize