What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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